POISON TO PURGE MELANCHOLY
PRESCRIBING INFORMATION
Bad healthcare got you down?
Take Poison to Purge Melancholy to pep you up.
INDICATIONS
Preference for reading historical, paranormal
or holiday mysteries.
DOSAGE FORM
6x9 trade paperback
DOSAGE
Best if taken in one prolonged dose, though may be read in shorter spurts
with no ill effects except annoyance at having to put the book down.
PRECAUTIONS
Exercise caution beginning regimen if, say, you need to get children to
school on time or if the safety of the world depends on you. Invest in a
pocketbook or backpack large enough to take the book with you everywhere.
Bedtime reading may lead to insomnia.
SIDE EFFECTS
9 out of 10 readers experience cravings for Italian pizzelles or lavish 18th century holiday dinners. Less frequent is the
tendency to check closets for ghosts. Rare: Some readers begin speaking
in couplets.
PATIENT INSTRUCTIONS
For external use only. For best results, read straight through. Don't cheat
and read the ending first. Do not restrict food intake, in fact, best if taken
with chocolate. If melancholy does not diminish after reading, have your doctor
check to make sure you're still breathing.
Use only as directed.
